Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
