So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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