I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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