Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Randomize
