Do you still have your period?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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