I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
