your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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