check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
