saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
