does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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