Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize