Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
