Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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