Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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