would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Two words: blizzard sex
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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