My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
