What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
