he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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