At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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