After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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