as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
