Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
