Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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