I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
