do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize