thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
