I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
