remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
