You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
