Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
