He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
