i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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