you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
