the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
