So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
