Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
