Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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