oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
