so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize