Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize