Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
