I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
