If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
