that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He passed out mid-signature
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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