Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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