do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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