I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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