SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.