Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.

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(717): WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night. http://tfl.nu/710a

Replies (20) Good night (1142) Bad night (1575)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.

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(605): We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy. http://tfl.nu/7hz1

Replies (41) Good night (11799) Bad night (657)
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(205): View more from Alabama

we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.

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(205): we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with. http://tfl.nu/n5zf

Replies (6) Good night (809) Bad night (3546)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.

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(314): I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness. http://tfl.nu/5pr0

Replies (20) Good night (4600) Bad night (1222)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like

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(781): I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like http://tfl.nu/tc65

Replies (6) Good night (3329) Bad night (952)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

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(504): I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this. http://tfl.nu/j9b2

Replies (10) Good night (3979) Bad night (1063)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.

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(403): you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape. http://tfl.nu/to8s

Replies (15) Good night (4652) Bad night (877)
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(419): View more from Ohio

i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.

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(419): i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go. http://tfl.nu/8sa8

Replies (29) Good night (2477) Bad night (754)
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(540): View more from Virginia

The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth

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(540): The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth http://tfl.nu/eovp

Replies (8) Good night (3018) Bad night (658)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!

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(570): ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin! http://tfl.nu/i1tl

Replies (18) Good night (1526) Bad night (2199)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass

(240): View more from Maryland

He should have died. Natural selection.

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(301): Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass (240): He should have died. Natural selection. http://tfl.nu/8itz

Replies (13) Good night (2683) Bad night (792)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day

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(404): I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day http://tfl.nu/nvho

Replies (1) Good night (830) Bad night (808)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.

(1-715): View more from Wisconsin

Is that what happened to my face?!

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(715): There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders. (1-715): Is that what happened to my face?! http://tfl.nu/edsg

Replies (3) Good night (1389) Bad night (540)
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(705): View more from Ontario

Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.

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(705): Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap. http://tfl.nu/psf5

Replies (7) Good night (724) Bad night (335)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems

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(303): I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems http://tfl.nu/a77h

Replies (0) Good night (539) Bad night (246)

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