Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.

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  (610): NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS. http://tfl.nu/4d7u
  Replies (17) Good night (807) Bad night (3188)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.

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  (713): My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs. http://tfl.nu/vmqk
  Replies (34) Good night (3363) Bad night (873)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  You went to church with your boobs hanging out?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.

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  (937): You went to church with your boobs hanging out? (978): Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well. http://tfl.nu/nomt
  Replies (22) Good night (7084) Bad night (1267)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.

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  (303): Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel. http://tfl.nu/te56
  Replies (10) Good night (6860) Bad night (1214)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.

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  (616): Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless. http://tfl.nu/4zx2
  Replies (9) Good night (1048) Bad night (2351)
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key

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  (707): I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key http://tfl.nu/dsgw
  Replies (15) Good night (2076) Bad night (765)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.

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  (518): Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke. http://tfl.nu/lmdn
  Replies (8) Good night (1488) Bad night (1386)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka

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  (343): The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka http://tfl.nu/nkji
  Replies (4) Good night (1198) Bad night (834)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

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  (772): Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. http://tfl.nu/4fru
  Replies (21) Good night (2138) Bad night (590)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.

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  (406): Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out. http://tfl.nu/4zrh
  Replies (1) Good night (416) Bad night (795)
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  (607): View more from New York

  WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"

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  (607): WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!" http://tfl.nu/33ys
  Replies (5) Good night (451) Bad night (752)
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  (310): View more from California

  Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.

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  (310): Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand. http://tfl.nu/cp6v
  Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (362)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  best eviction party ever.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.

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  (908): best eviction party ever. (610): it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party. http://tfl.nu/o2dt
  Replies (2) Good night (906) Bad night (417)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.

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  (515): She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you. http://tfl.nu/4e5h
  Replies (1) Good night (616) Bad night (290)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?

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  (217): Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient? http://tfl.nu/tlkh
  Replies (0) Good night (186) Bad night (248)

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