So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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