Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
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I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.