Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
