i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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