Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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