careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
