Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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