sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
