First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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