google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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