We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
