he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
