Can Purell be used as lube?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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