so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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