Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
