Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
