Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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