I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
