Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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